Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I like it when you call me Big Poppa, or Biggie says it best

Hello fans (and by that I mean my mom and Leah), friends, and random people who have stumbled upon this blog while trolling the interwebs looking for shenanigans. Today sucked. Ok, not all of it sucked. But most of it sucked harder than a Dyson vacuum. True story. Because of this, I feel (to borrow a phrase I found on my favorite lady-blog) a bit stabby. But don't worry. I'm not going to stab anyone. Although Betsy (my fat lard of a cat) is getting on my last damn nerve. So, this is what she does. Check it. I get home at around 2:30 today and immediately put on my chillaxin' clothes. I lay on my bed, which looks like a tornado sleeps there but it's really just me. (What? I roll around a lot.) Heifer (in this case, Betsy) sits by my nightstand, staring a hole in my face, and just meows. Mew. Mew. Mew. Mew. Then, because she thinks she is so friggin' rad, she decided to knock the little figurine off of my nightstand. Why? She doesn't know. Nor does she care. All she knows is she wants something from her owner, who seems to be idly sitting on her ass, spacing out to memebase.com. Tap. Tap. Scrape. *Oh yeah, if I can just knock this crap off her nightstand, maybe she'll do that thing I want but is still TDB.* Um, what, what, what are you doing? I'm totally staring at her, my eyes as big a friggin' saucers. She looks at me, daring me to spray her right in the face with my squirt bottle. Mew. 

She's chill now, laying by my printer like, what? Me? Yeah, you. Heifer. 


Also, this lizard is angry too. And he wants to eat your family. He's not a dinosaur, per se. I think his body is more lizard-y but he could go either way. I'm planning a whole host of dinosaur comics because, honestly, who doesn't like a dinosaur? I should've bought that I (heart)Dinosaurs sticker I saw at Hot Topic last month. Why I, a 26 year old woman, was in a Hot Topic is none of your damn business. Don't you look at me like that. Srsly. 

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